WEEKEND ONE LINERS

A cash machine has just charged me two pound for a transaction but told me to cover my PIN to prevent from being robbed.

Pretty ironic if you ask me.


'What do you think you could add to the role, if we gave you the position?' asked the interviewer.
'Butter, lettuce, bacon and tomato,' I said.
I've nailed this job at Greggs.


My wife said she was leaving me because of my lack of vocabulary ....well I was lost for words


Did you hear about the drummer who was so depressed about his bad timing that he threw himself behind a train


Went to see the worst faith healer last night. He was so bad, a bloke in a wheelchair got up and walked out!!

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